6 days in a hell (diary)

Before reading further, please read the beginning of my Bali story here and here.

My life is a sum of choices. Choices are like roads leading to experiences. I don't regret anything, because once those things were my goals. No matter, I win or fail, I learn something. This time I assured once again, that my priorities concerning a job are 1) doing what I like to do and skillful at, improving myself 2) being myself 3) a friendly and supportive team 4) being appreciated for what I am and my contributions.

A month of waiting (which was full of complications with documents, and 10 days stay in Malaysia) was finally over. I could start work.

December 31 First day at work. An ugly uniform is just a detail, that made me feel out of place. Gala dinner for 150 Russians. "You will only translate for them". In fact, I didn't do much. Just standing the whole day and having small talks. Oh yes, and looking at their bored faces. (Watching the phones was more exciting than a concert). "Can we write a complain?",– somebody asked. Elite of Russia. Do you know how they behave? Fireworks at the beach. Indian ocean. Happy New Year. It was like a dream.

I went to the office. After a while heard a drunk guy swearing in Russian in the corridor. I didn't dare to go outside. (He was waiting for a taxi for 40 minutes. He was mad). Well, a good beginning. Manager who's calling his female colleague "bitch". Another manager called her "stupid sausage". Oh, work here must be fun!

Pizza for a celebration. (With some ants inside–life in tropics).

After 11 hours 15 minutes I could go home. I was dead. (As I didn't sleep the night before).

January 1 "We won't give you any training". (Since it's a temporary job.) So what? –I thought). Just ask, if you have any questions. Papers. Learn the prices. Opening times. I walked around to get to know the area, no one was going to assist me. Okaay.

Misunderstanding with 10 Russians who stayed at a different hotel, and came for a dinner. Someone booked a wrong restaurant for them. They were frustrated. Asked me about the menu and prices in our restaurants. I didn't know anything. I felt so stupid! Yes, they asked me how long I was working there. I told the truth. Frustration again, because they had to wait long for a taxi. "Where're are you from?" Oh no, they noticed my accent. "Western part of Ukraine" (I always emphasise it). "We have relatives in Lviv!", – they said smiling. Good. I smiled back. Taxi arrived. Bye.  Other Russians. Questions. Miserable me not being able to give a proper answer. (Before I started to work, they told me I'd only help to translate. Reality was different).

January 2 "Do you remember what time does the restaurant open? What time do they serve breakfast? Go back and read the information!", – said my colleague. I was reading when the boss asked me what I was doing. "Stop reading, go to the front office, and see what people are doing!" Then I was confused. Whom should I listen to? What should I do? No way, one month, and that's all. I was observing the check in process. Passport. Copy. Many copies....At least I could do that. Book a spa for 2 people. (I had no idea how to do it) "Go and do check in. They're Russians". Ooooo I'm stressed! No one was going to give me a tour. To tell how to get, let's say, to spa, was like teaching a monkey how to cook pancakes. I mean I wasn't familiar with a place, what the hell you expect from me?

January 3 "You're stressful, panic, can't control yourself, loud, not involved.....". The bullshit I heard about myself the first time in my life.

How shall I continue to work with them? Colleagues are cold like Siberia... I don't need you to be my friends. "Can I go for a lunch?", I asked once. "No, you can't. Wait for a dinner time." I hate you, I was never treated like that.

Check in. Two guys from Russia. Who looked either tired or had a hangover. But they had something other guests didn't have. Wealthy, but down-to-earth guys. Told me Ukrainian girls were the best. "I'm from Western Ukraine". "We're peaceful",– they replied.

January 5 Ok, I have to calm down, and pretend I like the job. Otherwise I won't survive this month. A quiet day. I was trying to think about something positive. "To co mam dla Pani szukac narzeczonego?" "Tak! To szybciej wroce do Polski!" :D ​A pleasant conversation with a family from Warsaw. (Speaking the language nobody can understand. I could be myself. I was happy). Another shot at me from a colleague: "You can't carry your bag, ask for a bag with our logo".  Whaaaat?

January 6 "Manager wants to talk to you" "What did you do last night? How did you dare to do it?" My fatal mistake. (Or a good ground to resign?) A long conversation. "We overestimated you".

After another conversation: "Can I write a resignation letter?" Giving back a nametag, the key....the end......of my personal horror.

What will I do next? No plan. No other job. Wasted time, efforts and money. I gave up. But it's not my weakness. I did it because for myself. I wasn't happy. I knew it wasn't for me.

We all have the right to show the white flag.

If it makes you happy, do it if it doesn't, then don't.